If you are deathly afraid of showing your writing to others — if it fills you with nearly the same feverish terror as that dream where you’re caught at school or at work missing your pants — I can totally relate. For years I wrote casually and never showed any of my writing to anyone out of fear that someone reading my stuff would shake their head and verify, with that one simple gesture, that I was wasting my time writing embarrassingly asinine, awful stories. That’s right, I had already convinced myself that my writing was the worst crap that had ever been smeared across a page. I have always had the gut feeling — and this has been validated in other writers’ interviews I’ve read — that most if not all writers feel this sort of revulsion for their own work from time to time, if not all the time. I simply could not imagine putting myself out there like that.
In my case, this fear could have been partly due to not having positive support. Nobody in my family aspires to write (at least not that I know of — there could be others like me, hiding their shame in the bottom of a sock drawer lest they be exposed). Now I have a few friends who at least know about the fact that I write. I’ve come out on social media to family and friends as a writer. I have adjusted my working life as much as makes sense to make the idea of writing a novel practically feasible. And I have an amazing wife who supports me and happily reads my stuff. I think it would have been much easier to take writing seriously if I had been born into an environment of writers, but that’s a frivolous mind game, like wondering what would have happened if you were born in a different part of the world. We’re all dealt our hand in life, and mine has been pretty damn sweet minus the not being surrounded by literary folks thing.
I have to say time helps — as I write more, and also as I get older, I find my proverbial skin is much thicker (also my literal skin, especially on the bottoms of my feet for some reason). I guess I just don’t care as much about other people’s opinions, as harsh as that sounds. Not too long ago, after I had asked some friends to read through my stuff, one of them asked how I could put myself out there like that. He seemed impressed. Earlier in my life I wouldn’t have, but when he asked me that I couldn’t help thinking how sad it would be if I kept my writing buried, as if it were something to be ashamed of.
If you think your writing stinks, you might be right. In fact, if you really think your stuff is super stilted and stale, you’re almost certainly onto something. Our instincts about our own writing is often not far from the truth.
But so what? What’s the worst that can happen if you share bad writing? People don’t read it? Someone makes a little fun of you? I can point out some real stinker movies that have been released over the years. Someone wrote those, and even put their names on them (although for years directors used the fake pseudonym Alan Smithee if they really wanted to distance themselves from the work). The point being, the world keeps turning if you show people you can suck at writing. It really does.
But I would contend you are doing yourself a great disservice as a writer by NOT sharing. The problem with holing up and never showing people your writing is you never get feedback, and you need feedback to grow as a writer. Learning to write is like learning a new language. Until you are fluent, you need to be told when your pronunciation is off or your grammar is mangled. Otherwise, you’re in the equivalent of a sound chamber, and you’re likely to just carry on for years hoping you’re improving and not really knowing if you are.
I’m a software developer, and in modern development we have a concept called fail early. In other words, get the software in front of users so they can tell you what’s wrong with it quickly, because it’s far cheaper and easier to fix software issues early on, when few people are using it and it’s not yet become crucial to customers’ businesses, then later when the system is established.
I say the same goes for writing — you don’t want to waste years not knowing if you are improving. Your writing may suck. I still think mine does. Get it out there and elicit feedback anyway, from friends and family, but also professionals. I’ve mentioned in other posts that I’m a member of the Jerry Jenkins Writers Guild. In the guild you can show Jerry himself, a respected and long-time best-selling author, your first page of your novel, and he will edit it in a no-holds-barred fashion. I use Jerry Jenkins as an example because I’m a member of that guild, but I’m sure there are others who will do the same.
Why not get your stinker work reviewed? What’s the worst that can happen? You’ll be TOLD it’s a stinker? You already know that!
Feedback is important. And your fear of sharing your work is really worse than the reality if you just do it.
So go ahead. Be brave.
